Shame,

guilt, and hate. These emotions are the only ones who seem to accompy me these days with my never ending cycle of binging purging,bining,purging, and self hate. its watse i simply want to be thin and happy, and confident in myself. everything else honestly doesnt matter to me. i just want to be OKAY, is that so hard to achive not even happy just content with myself and the life im in. Today i relized how sick ive gotten, i would rather sit at home and b/p and cut than go out with friends id rther sit at home with my own hate than go and enjoy this wierd summer weather. i need to rant i know no ones reading this, but soemtimes its fun to pretend ppl are reading this and understanding. well i know im going ot be doing this alot more. i need something distract me from the guilt. and my nasty obession with food.